


A Christmas Gift

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Genre: Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 03:29:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16846252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: Even during the Christmas celebrations, Raffles cannot resist the allure of crime.





	A Christmas Gift

The festive season was upon us and on the week leading up to Christmas day, Raffles and I had attended so many parties, soirees and dinners that I was beginning to forget if I was coming or going or indeed what day it even was. It was a relief then that we had a free day on our social calendar and I could relax before the inevitable bustle of Christmas. 

It was snowing heavily that particular year and as I made my way from Mount Street to the Albany, the snow-flakes fell upon me, and by the time I reached Raffles’ rooms, my coat was covered in white. I shook off the flakes by Raffles’ door and met the postman there as he was about to knock.

“Is that post for Mr. Raffles?”

“It is, sir.”

“I’ll take those, I’m going in.” I noticed a newspaper on-top the mat. “Oh, a paper too.”

I took the bundle of letters, picked up the newspaper, and then wished the postie a good-day. I was in a cheery mood, even whistling as my fist made contact with my friend’s door. Within moments, Raffles was there, beaming widely.

“Hello, Bunny!” 

“Hello, A.J,” I said, following him inside the sitting room.

“Must be chilly out there, old boy, hang your coat, come sit by the fire. I’ll fetch you some whiskey to warm you up.”

I smiled and removed my coat, having to leave the room to hang it up before returning again. “Thank you, Raffles.” 

Raffles looked at me as though wondering where I’d disappeared to, holding the glass in his hands.

I attempted to hand him his post at the same time he attempted to hand me my whiskey and we were a mass of hands, fingers and arms. Finally, we both laughed and I placed the letters on the settee and grabbed my glass. I took a much-needed swig of my drink and savoured the taste as it travelled down my throat.

“Have you recovered yet?” he asked.

“Recovered from what?”

Raffles slapped me heartily on the shoulder. “At Gwendoline’s. You had that episode during a round of ‘The Minister’s Cat’.”

“It wasn’t an episode, it was just stifling in there next to the fire.”

He grinned. “You did turn quite red.”

“Do you blame me after all that wassailing?”

“I was winning the game until that point too.”

I snorted. “Well I’m dreadfully sorry I ruined your chances.” 

“It needed a shake-up anyway, it was all a bit of a bore.”

I smiled and then motioned to the letters. “A lot of post today, A.J.”

“So, I see.” He lounged upon the settee and scooped up the letters, flicking through them with interest. “Christmas cards I shouldn’t wonder. I say, Bunny, isn’t that your handwriting?”

I looked away shyly. “Might be.”

“You silly old Rabbit,” he said as he reached for the letter-knife and opened the envelope. “You posted a card and then brought it to me? That is a very Bunny thing to do, I must say.”

“I think it shows class.”

He smiled at the card and then placed it on the mantle. It didn’t escape my notice that my card was the biggest and he set it, pride of place, at the front.

“I would give you yours, my dear old chap but alas I’ve not written them yet. It’s a dreary task.”

“I’ll do them for you if you like?”

“Oh, would you? How helpful of you. Make sure to pick a card for yourself that is most agreeable.”

I smirked and drank some more whiskey. He was too predictable was old Raffles. 

“Ah the newspaper here too?” 

“Yes.” I threw it to him. “Have you done any of your Christmas shopping yet, A.J?”

He hadn’t heard a word I had said because his dazzling eyes were transfixed on the newspaper. 

“By Jove!” Was all he could say.

“What is it?”

“Hmm? Oh, something in the press, my boy. I say, that is quite something. Actually, come here, Bunny, read it for yourself.”

I sat close next to him on the settee and read the article. As soon as I saw the word ‘jewels’ I sighed and frowned, my shoulders suddenly heavy. I should have known! The headline read: ‘Jewels stolen from British Museum. Suspects arrested at scene.’

“Poor fellows were caught?” I said, my eyes scanning as quickly as I could before Raffles inevitably turned the page before I reached the bottom. As usual he folded the paper when he’d finished.

“Fascinating. I must admire them that they attempted such a feat. Disappointed I didn’t think of stealing those diamonds myself. I’ve read about them with great interest. Must have been all these Christmas events and flirtations distracting me.”

“Thank goodness you didn’t think of it otherwise we’d be spending Christmas in Wormwood Scrubs!” 

He laughed. “No, we wouldn’t, Bunny. We’d never have been caught. The most interesting part however is that the diamonds are now in the evidence department at Scotland Yard.” He tapped the paper several times as if alerting me to that particular bit of information.

“So?”

“So, my dear innocent little Bunny, we shall have them after all.”

“A.J, you just said they’re in the evidence department of Scotland Yard.”

He rose to his feet then and with both passion and flair he began his speech. “We shall succeed where those two failed. It may not be the British Museum but by god, think of it, Bunny. Stealing from Scotland Yard itself, deceiving Inspector Mackenzie in the process.” He eyes were alight with excitement.

“But the cheek of it!”

…

What happened next was even more cheek than I ever expected from my oldest friend. I stood on the corner of the street, a meeting place arranged by Raffles, and I shivered in the cold as I waited for him- fashionably late as usual. At that moment, I spied Inspector Mackenzie walking towards me on his way to Scotland Yard. He was striding with determination in my direction, dressed in his ulster and cap, his grey beard vivid and fluffy.

“You ready Bunny?” he said in his thick Scottish accent as he stood beside me.

Inspector Mackenzie was calling me ‘Bunny’, I wasn’t sure how to react to this. “I’m sorry?” My face reddened and I stared at the face of the Inspector for a few moments before I came to the realisation that it wasn’t even the Inspector at all but was instead the devilish face of my Raffles with crime in mind. He was dressed in the full-ensemble of our Scottish detective nemesis and he was extremely convincing!

“Raffles, you haven’t!” I squeaked at the audacity.

“I have, and yes I am he. Perfect disguise, don’t you think? Who’s going to suspect the Inspector of inspecting in his own yard?”

I panicked for a moment. “The cheek, Raffles. Suppose someone spots you, suppose Mackenzie’s here, suppose your voice is recognised?”

“Suppose something falls from the sky and lands on my head! Bunny, I am well aware of the risks but that’s all part of the game as you know. Besides my ‘Mackenzie’ is coming on a treat. I’ve been studying him for quite some time. I know his accent, his mannerisms, the way he walks. Now, you better hide behind that bush and put on these.” 

He handed me a bundle of clothes.

“What are they?”

“A disguise. When I’ve finished, you’ll be outside as according to our plan, yes? I don’t want anyone to see the face of Bunny Manders.”

“Yes, alright.”

“You go off, get ready. I’ll go into Scotland Yard and hang around a bit, won’t be long. I’ve got my tools under my hat.”

I gulped. Why did I have a very bad feeling about this plan?

It was agonising waiting for Raffles to commit this crime and I stood by a bush in the middle of December with the leaves tickling my cheeks and wondering how it had come to this. I started to fidget and panic as I looked at my watch fob. He was taking a long time. Had he been caught? What would I do? 

Feeling suffocated in amongst the foliage, I stepped out of my hiding place, adjusting my new beard as I did so and took a deep breath as I turned in the direction of Scotland Yard. I whistled a tune as I casually strolled toward the main entrance. On the door, a man- a guard I supposed, stood and waited and I tried not to let on I was spying so I crossed the road and sat on the bench opposite. As I watched, hoping desperately for the emergence of Raffles, I spied the real Inspector Mackenzie heading toward the door along with two constables in uniform. 

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Raffles could fool anyone that he was Inspector Mackenzie but not if the real Inspector Mackenzie was also in the building. I wondered what to do as I watched him disappear inside. The game was up! He was most certainly caught. 

Several moments later I saw Inspector Mackenzie re-emerge from the building. He waved goodbye to the man on the door and I squinted my eyes, desperately trying to find out which Mackenzie he was. As he crossed the road, he smiled at me and I knew it was Raffles as I had studied his smile on many an occasion. 

“Quick, Bunny, let’s get out of here.”

“Inspector Mackenzie just went in there!”

“I know, just missed him. Awfully close call, Bunny, but as soon as the police realise they were talking to me for the last half hour and not the real Inspector they’re going to come blowing their whistles. We need to change out of these clothes. Where’s Arthur?”

“Who’s Arthur?”

He didn’t respond and instead I followed as he crossed the street in the direction of the same bushes I had been hiding in moments earlier. When we arrived at the outdoor make-shift ‘dressing room’, Raffles threw off his coat and hat and ripped of the wig and beard. At that moment two young street urchins arrived and bundled the clothes into a sack. 

“I say, what’s happening?” I asked as a little boy of about six, ripped off my beard and took my cap from me. He handed me my top-hat and long cloak and did the same for Raffles.

“They’re removing our disguises of course.”

The oldest boy held out his hand for a tip.

“Later, Arthur, come to the Albany in the morning,” Raffles said. I saw him hand the boy a small bag instead.

The oldest boy sighed and then they both left with the bundle of clothes and I saw them place them into a box at the end of the street- it was one of those ones used at markets to carry large pieces of meat- and they quite discreetly carried it away, no suspicions raised.

Underneath our disguises that we discarded, Raffles and I finally resembled our normal selves and we were about to set off home when there was a sudden hullaballoo coming from the direction of the yard. As predicted, there was a sudden sound of whistles and bells and a cacophony of noise. 

“I hoped we’d have longer,” Raffles said calmly. “Thankfully if they do search us, the jewels aren’t here.”

“Where on earth are they then?”

“Arthur’s got them.”

“You mean you trusted that child with the jewels?”

“He’s getting a pretty good cut, Bunny, and he’s good on his word. He’s done me quite a few favours over the years, fetching and carrying. Besides its Christmas.”

“Yes, the season of goodwill,” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“They’ll eat well this Christmas,” he replied as though he’d done a good deed.

As we emerged from the bushes, we saw Mackenzie and some constables leaving the premises and heading in our direction. 

“Raffles!”

“It’s alright, Bunny, they have nothing on us.”

“But it’ll look suspicious if we just so happen to be in the vicinity.”

He sighed. “Fine, if it puts your mind at rest, follow me.”

We crossed the street again and huddled behind a group of carollers who had gathered on the corner, bundled warmly under thick coats and scarves. As a collective they sounded wonderful but I couldn’t appreciate it fully as my stomach tied with knots. I felt a tiny pang of excitement too I must admit, though the nerves were winning in that moment.

Raffles shuffled up close to the carollers and pulled me next to him. “Mind if we join you?”

“No problem at all, Sir,” the leader of the group said. 

A pretty young lady with sweet rosy cheeks handed us a carol book to share and as soon as we saw a precession of officers heading in our direction, we both sang loudly to the carol. Mackenzie stopped directly in front of us which caused the entire group to stop abruptly. His eyes narrowed at us as we stood in the back row. He folded his arms in displeasure.

“Why if it isn’t Mr. Raffles and Mr. Manders? Do wonders never cease!”

Raffles parted through the carollers as if he was Moses parting the red sea and I followed him.

“Good evening, Inspector, what a lovely night for a carol, is it not? Care to join us?” Raffles said.

“No.”

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“Robbery at the yard. Funny how both you and Mr. Raffles happen to be so close to it, isn’t it?”

“Oh well we always do carol singing every year. This is one of our streets,” I said, nodding my nervous head up and down.

There was a twinkle of mischief in Raffles’ eyes. “A robbery you say? In Scotland Yard? By Jove someone’s got some nerve. Any idea who it is?”

Mackenzie gritted his teeth and leaned in close to us. “I didn’t have, but I suddenly find myself with one…or two…suspects in mind.”

“And so near to Christmas,” Raffles said, “you can’t believe the luck. How did they get in?”

“That’s none of your business! Turn out your pockets!”

The other singers looked bewildered as Raffles and I raised our arms and allowed the Inspector to search on our persons. When he found nothing, we heard a little grunt of annoyance and he turned away muttering under his breath.

“I do hope you catch the person or persons responsible,” Raffles said. “Oh, and have a very Merry Christmas Inspector, in case we don’t see you.”

…

By the time we reached the Albany, my fingers were frozen and I was glad to be inside and safe. Raffles immediately lit the fire and we sat together by the flickering flames, both not speaking for several moments as we allowed ourselves to warm up and contemplate on the day’s events. Finally, after a minute or two of silence, Raffles lit up a cigarette and then handed me one. I took a long drag from mine and exhaled slowly, feeling the tension ebbing away.

“Phew!” I finally said.

“Phew indeed but worth it I think.”

“It won’t be worth it if that child doesn’t turn up tomorrow, Raffles.”

“He will.”

I sighed heavily. “What are you going to do with the jewels anyway? You said your fence was out of town until after Christmas.”

“He is but I don’t need him.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t intend to profit from the jewels, my dear fellow.”

“You don’t?”

“Of course not, what do you take me for? It’s the season for giving after all.”

“And taking,” I muttered.

He ignored my interjection and placed his arm around my shoulder. “I have the perfect plan, Bunny, just you watch.”

I nodded along. Why did it never fill me with ease when he said that?

…

The next morning, I awoke and realised I was on the settee at the Albany, wrapped like a mummy in a large blanket. My head thundered and the room spun around me. As I caught my bearings, waiting for the room to steady itself, I glimpsed Raffles approaching me. He wore his dressing gown though it was open slightly to reveal his chest and he was grinning at me as he hovered over me.

“Finally awake?”

I clutched my head. “What happened, did I have another turn?” My legs felt like jelly and my face was hot.

“You don’t recognise a hangover?” He lit me a cigarette and placed it between my lips.

“A hangover?” I honestly didn’t remember drinking so much but after such an eventful day, I truly believed it was possible I had over-stretched myself.

“You poor chap, you look awful.”

“Thanks A.J!”

“I couldn’t possibly send you home in that state.”

I sat up groggily and I felt so dirty that I asked Raffles if I could take a bath. Whilst I relaxed in the bathtub, I felt my cares melt away and I closed my eyes gently. It was bliss. I’d been in there a short while when I heard voices coming from the living room. So curious was I to this unknown guest that I leapt up out of the bath, dried myself as quickly as I could and threw on my rather crumpled clothes.

I pulled the door open to the living room and there I found the two street urchins talking to Raffles. 

“Oh.”

“Ah there you are, Bunny. Arthur’s come for the money.”

I nodded and watched as Raffles reached into his pocket, pulled out a small handful of coins and placed them into Arthur’s palm. The smallest boy frowned.

“What about me?” he said, sulking.

Raffles was an old softie at heart and he pretended to produce a coin from behind the boy’s ear and presented to him. The boy’s smile was aglow with wonder and he snatched the coin and held it close to his chest.

“Thank you, Sir Raffles,” the angelic blond boy said.

“Well thank you, boys,” Raffles said as he showed them to the door, “remember to help your mother out, it is Christmas.”

“You know their mother?” I questioned when the boys were gone and we glanced out of the window, watching them disappear through a blanket of fog.

“Yes, not intimately, Bunny, but she’s a fine woman, has the patience of a saint with those eight children of hers.”

“Eight?!”

“Yes, Arthur and Harry are the middle ones.”

I did a double-take. “Their names are Arthur and Harry?”

There was a big smile then painted on Raffles’ lips. “Yes, that’s why I chose them. They’re like an alternate you and me as children, don’t you think? Arthur certainly looks after little Harry.”

I must admit it was rather sweet that he’d chosen the boys based on us. Maybe Raffles had more Christmas spirit than I’d given him credit for.

“The most important thing is, we have the jewels and we are ready to go.”

“Go where?”

He placed his hand on my shoulder. “I’m not sure you’re well enough to go anywhere.” He handed me a box. “Here, write my Christmas cards, I’ve got an important errand to run.”

I didn’t even have time to ask a question as he grabbed his coat and disappeared from the room. 

…

When he returned to me, he was whistling a merry tune and sat down beside me with a grin spread across his face. 

I felt better after my bad night but there was a sudden sinking feeling in my stomach. “What have you done?”

“Now why do you always assume I’ve ‘done’ something?”

“Raffles, I’ve known you intimately for years, I know when you’re up to something.”

With baited breath I waited as he poured a glass of whiskey, lit a Sullivan and glanced at the Christmas cards that had arrived with the second post. Finally, he looked at me intently.

“I’ve come over quite Christmas spirit this year, Bunny, that’s all. And in keeping with the season of goodwill and all that, I decided to post our dear friend Inspector Mackenzie a gift. After all, he’s probably feeling pretty glum about that business at the yard.”

“What on earth did you get him?” What would one get a policeman?”

“I sent him the diamonds of course.”

I stood up, eyes wide, mouth open, stammering, stuttering. How could he have? “You did what?”

“Sent him the loot as a gift. Surely at this time of year it is better to give than receive.”

“Or take,” I said, with a knowing glance aimed at him.

He patted me on the arm. “Oh, it’s all in good fun, Bunny. Imagine his face when the jewels that were stolen from under his nose, end up…well…right under his nose. I’ve addressed the card to him personally. They won’t be able to trace it back here, I was very careful.”

I had to admit it was genius. Good old Raffles had done it again!

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t come asking questions.”

“He’ll go away with no answers if he does. He has nothing on us. Never fear, my worrisome Rabbit, let us instead go out for dinner and drinks to celebrate our triumph.”

…

Christmas Day arrived finally and it snowed that day, casting a blanket of white upon the streets as I made my way to the Albany with a spring in my step and a cheer in my heart. Christmas had in the past been a wearisome affair and at times even lonely but as I made my way to Raffles’ rooms, I was struck at how happy I was to share the season with him. I climbed up the stairs two at a time carrying the wrapped box for my friend under my arm. With a rat-tat-tat I knocked on the door and waited patiently. There was silence for a moment so I knocked again.

“Raffles? Merry Christmas!”

The door was flung open and Raffles stood in his dressing gown. “Sorry, Bunny, caught me while I was getting ready. Just got out of the bath. Come in my dear fellow and Merry Christmas.”

He took my coat and hat and hung them for me as I tried to keep hold of the package. 

“Go on through, I’ll get dressed.”

Whilst he was changing, I helped myself to a Sullivan and a biscuit from an expensive looking box. As he emerged from the bedroom in his finest suit he smiled.

“Straight for the biscuits, eh Bunny?”

“Well dinner isn’t for hours, I’m rather peckish.”

He laughed. “No help yourself. What’s mine is yours as well you know.”

I thrust his Christmas present into his arms and grinned widely, waiting for him to tear open the paper.

“I wonder what it could be.” He shook it slightly and then tore open the paper, staring at the contents inside. He pulled out a brass picture frame and held it up to the light. Inside was a photograph of the two of us taken at a cricket game. “That came out well. Thank you, Bunny, I shall put it pride of place on the mantlepiece to remember one of our many wonderful adventures together.”

I stood and waited, hoping he’d honour me with my present but instead he poured himself a glass of brandy and savoured the taste for a moment. I saw him glance at the photograph as he placed it on the mantle and as his eyes looked away, they caught mine and there they stayed for several moments.

“I suppose you might want your present.”

I shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought.”

He pointed to a small box behind the decanter and I looked surprised as he handed it to me. 

“For me? Honestly, A.J, I never expected a gift!”

I pulled the string and opened the box. Inside was two little ornaments and as I held them in my palm, I realised they were birds of some kind. They were beautiful and ornate. “They’re lovely but what are they?”

“They are turtle dove ornaments, my dear Bunny. You can’t have one turtle dove, you must have two. They are companions, go together in pairs, like you and me rather, wouldn’t you say?”

I blushed. “Oh A.J, that’s very lovely. I shall cherish them.”

Our eyes met a second time and it was at that moment that the harsh sound of someone knocking on the door interrupted us. 

“Who the devil could that be?” Raffles said as he made his way to the door. “On Christmas Day!”

“Who is it?” I called out after him but as I turned into the hall, I caught sight of Inspector Mackenzie in the doorway.

“Good morning, Inspector,” Raffles said nonchalantly. “To what do we owe this interruption on…you do realise it’s Christmas Day, don’t you? Do the Scots not celebrate?”

Mackenzie merely mumbled and barged his way past us and into the sitting room. He lifted up a flap on his ulster and produced a parcel. 

Raffles grinned. “For me, Inspector? Oh, you shouldn’t have!”

“I didn’t. I think you know very well what this is.”

“It’s a parcel,” I said unhelpfully.

“Thank you, Mr. Manders, but I meant its contents. You see inside this wee box contained the jewels stolen from the British Museum and later Scotland Yard.”

“How extraordinary,” Raffles said. “How on earth did you find them?”

“They were sent to me in this Christmas box, Mr. Raffles.”

“Someone has very fine taste.”

Mackenzie puffed his chest out and narrowed his eyes in the direction of my friend who was enjoying this immensely. “I suspect you know very well, Mr. Raffles.”

“Just what exactly are you suggesting?” I said, puffing my own chest out.

Raffles tutted. “And on Christmas Day to accuse us, how very un-festive. But I shall forgive you this once seeing as it’s a day of peace. Why not have a mince pie?”

There was an exhale of contempt from Inspector Mackenzie before he placed the parcel back under his ulster and trotted toward the door, muttering under his breath, words which I gathered were impolite and not suitable for many ears.

“You shall see me again, Mr. Raffles, make no mistake.”

Raffles followed him to the door and I lingered in the hallway.

“I shall expect you New Years then!” Raffles said as Mackenzie left.

As the door slammed in Mackenzie’s face, Raffles let out a throaty laugh and I followed him back into the sitting room. 

“That was almost cruel, Raffles,” I said.

“It was the best part of Christmas to see his face so enraged. Told you it would all work out alright. I shall eat well today.”

I patted my stomach. I was already hungry but I could also feel it churning with nerves. I’d skipped breakfast to make way for the large dinner but now it was making funny noises. 

“We shall share a scrumptious meal together,” Raffles said, taking my arm, “but first we shall take a walk in this fine city.”

I agreed and we grabbed our coats and hats. “A.J, just one thing?”

“Yes?”

“Did you steal those turtle doves?”

“Really my dear Bunny! How you offend a chap!”

We laughed and then we walked together through the streets of London, basking in our triumph and in the atmosphere of a busy Christmas morning. It was freezing but neither of us seemed to notice for we laughed and joked and the world seemed brighter and full of life and possibility. No doubt the next year would bring even more challenges for Raffles and I but for that one day it was calm, it was peaceful, it was jubilant and it was the best company a man could wish for.


End file.
